WHAT’S a girl got left to say when she sets off to write a column about the plight of the single girl but no longer is one?

If my friend hadn’t got the flu I may never have met the man I love. Instead of spending the day with her as planned I went on a friend’s boat where I met him, and so it began. A chance encounter or meaningful coincidence?

TO have or not to have?

DID my eyes deceive me or was that Wayne Carey’s girlfriend sipping cocktails with him in Koh Samui?

TRADITION’S a funny thing. It’s afforded special privileges rarely bestowed on customs of recent standing, mainly that we follow it with unwavering loyalty without pausing to deconstruct its relevance, meaning or good sense.

IT’S hard not to have sorry on your mind this weekend, our Prime Minister having just issued a mass apology on our behalf.

Oh no, it’s here again. The one day of the year designed to mock those who haven’t found love.

FOR all our talk about sensitive, new-age men who share their feelings, wear moisturiser and cook, we still cringe slightly when they cry.

WHAT’S the process for declaring a word null and void?

I’m not obsessed with the love life of Nicolas Sarkozy. It’s just that I can’t avoid it. Even while holidaying overseas and devoid of the usual news infiltration, I still managed to hear about it.

Don’t you hate it when people tell you you’ll meet someone when you least expect it? It clashes with all the laws of the universe and makes no sense at all.

Is it just me or do we all have too many friends?

I met David Beckham last week. Ok, I didn’t meet him personally but we were in the same room – just me and 300 others at a soiree to welcome him, the king of football and wife of Posh Spice, to Sydney.

It’s not often I envy married people but I do begrudge them this: not having to have The Conversation. Ever again.

WE all know how it feels to have two men fighting over us: one you’ve been going out with for 11 years, the other new on the scene.

The number of people who’ve asked me why Charmaine Dragun took her own life… I’d never met the Channel 10 journalist but, because she was a newsreader, people assume I must have or, at the very least, understood her anguish.

A friend got engaged the other day and rang me in a flurry of excitement with the happy news. ‘How did he propose?’ I ask, keen for every romantic detail. ‘He didn’t', she responded. ‘I gave him an ultimatum.’

Picture this: a bachelor as Prime Minister. It doesn’t sit well as we’re in the throws of an election campaign, does it?

Six single male friends went on a date last weekend and swapped notes on their first dates.

Did you know that in the 1960s a classic gaberdine trench coat was all it took to get a husband? So said the Sportscraft ads of the day.

IT was only a matter of time. Warnie has allegedly bowled another maiden over, flying the flag for philanderers everywhere by being given a seventh chance – and blowing it.

THE girls are off to Melbourne for a long weekend. “A spot of shopping on Little Collins St?” I ask “Nope. We’re freezing our eggs.”

THE frontal lobe is where it’s at.

I’VE just witnessed a friend go through a break-up.

I CAME across a woman who’d been beaten by her boyfriend late the other night.

LET’S talk about sex. Either everyone’s lying through their teeth, or it’s everyone else who’s having it, not them.

TIRED of disproportionate gender ratios that don’t fall in your favour? Then here’s the solution for you: Thredbo, where there are more men than you can poke a stock at.

WHEN the news broke: “Naomi Watts gives birth”, I was tempted to suggest it should lead the next Sky news bulletin.

MARY, please don’t go. It’s just that you’re all we’ve got. Maxine McKew’s gone political, Jennifer Byrne’s gone to books, Anne Fulwood’s gone to APEC and Jana’s just gone.

A MAN I hardly know came up to me the other night and asked to sit down

So you want to get married? Well, don’t wait till you find the love of your life.

Do men go through this, or is it only women who hold their breath at Budget time, hoping the Treasurer has remembered them?

A funny thing happened when I went to the country last weekend. It rained.

Not a day goes by when someone doesn’t ask me if I fear I’ve missed the baby boat

It’s always puzzled me how a girl with weak or zero financial prospects can marry a wealthy man and no one bats an eyelid.